A Game Doesn’t Need to End In a Buzzer Beater to Be Good

We collectively need to stop complaining about the “disappointing” first two days of the tourney. If there hasn’t been a buzzer beater, that doesn’t mean that the games have all sucked. Shame on you. Let’s be honest, most people have only watched somewhere between 0-5 college basketball games this season, so you’re not allowed to expect a Kris Jenkins-esque shot in every game. The theory of probability will not bend to satisfy your Twitter feed while you get nothing done in your cubicle.

And this message isn’t just for the casual or sparingly interested sports fan. When I woke up this morning, the main headline on ESPN’s site was ‘The NCAA Tournament is about to wake up’ and if you clicked on it, you would’ve found an article by Eamonn Brennan about how “sleepy” the first round games were. Dude, stop phishing for clicks and ad sales just because CBS outbid your company for NCAA Tournament television rights. Since when do American companies sacrifice integrity just to put a little extra money in their pocket?

Getting back to my point, a game/match in any sport can be incredible without a wild ending or upset. For instance, Notre Dame vs Princeton (literally the first game in this year’s tourney) was an unbelievable game. It was back and forth in the 1st half, then Notre Dame built a decent lead to start the 2nd half, Princeton came back and Notre Dame held on in an exciting final 10 minutes. There wasn’t a buzzer beater, there wasn’t an upset, there was plenty of agonizing stress for degenerate gamblers, and the game was lit AF, once again proving that nerds suck at sports.

We love to apply the ‘classic’ tag, though, to any game when a single iconic play decides the fate of the game during the final minutes. For example, let’s take Super Bowl LXII (42, for the roman numeral challenged). The Giants pulled off one of the greatest upsets of all time against the Patriots, but if you go back and watch the game, it’s terrible. The 4th quarter is awesome, but the rest of the game is sloppy and pretty boring. If it wasn’t for one of the angels from Angels in the Outfield swooping down to pin the ball against David Tyree’s head, then the game is only remembered for the Pats finishing up a 19-0 season. It was an iconic play and upset, but the game sucked.

His name in the movie is literally Triscuitt Messmer. Unreal.

Final notes: enjoy all the basketball this weekend, don’t rely on buzzer beaters, and let’s all take a second to realize how much better of an actor Joseph Gordon-Levitt has become since Angels in the Outfield.

I still want a buzzer beater. In the words of little JP, it could happen...